Letters
by howlsatthemoon
Summary: I miss you. / Nate and Mitchie are both a little screwed up. But at least they can be screwed up together.


_Disclaimer: Don't own Camp Rock._

Waah. I hope you don't think it's completely and totally horrible. :(

* * *

8 - 2 - 0 9

Hey Mitchie!

I know it's only been like, a day since camp ended, but I was bored and my mom gave me some stationary for my welcoming back present. Plus I found your address and your phone number in my pocket. And I had a pen. Of course, I could've just called, but I didn't feel like it. Writing letters are more meaningful, don't you think?

Anyway, how's it going? I was so happy when Shane told me you'll be going to our first three concerts in New Jersey. I didn't know you lived in NJ! Did you know I lived in Wyckoff too? Isn't that so cool? And weird, that we both spent almost our whole lives in the same city but never met until Camp Rock.

Alright. I gotta go now. Sorry, I was planning this to be a really long letter, but my mom's calling me for dinner. I'll call you soon, Mitch!

- Nate

—**0— **

8 – 12 – 09

Nate –

Sorry I didn't write back in a while. I was a little busy. Of course, I did talk to you on the phone every night for the past week, so I think I'm off the hook. I talk to you more than Shane! My mom's going to kill me when she sees my phone bill!

How are you and Caitlyn going? I know that blind date I asked Shane to set up didn't go so well, but I'm so, so, so sure you two are perfect for each other! You two just have to give it a chance. You have to admit – Cait is pretty, and she's funny, too. Just a little… high-maintenance sometimes. Don't tell her I said that. :]

I can't wait until next week! Your tour begins! My mom even said I could spend a few days with you guys on the bus, because my dad's on a business trip in Montana, and he'll take me home when we stop there. Isn't that so cool?

Anyway, I gotta go too. I'm joined the community theater musical, like you told me to do.

See you soon,  
Mitchie

—**0— **

8 – 26 – 09

Mitch,

Sorry I haven't written in so long and that I keep forgetting to call! We've been so busy – we have to set up some extra stuff for the tour, organize the playlists, make sure everything's ready, the bus is decent to live in for two months – and I just haven't had a lot of time. But I'm here now, aren't I?

I heard about your parent's divorce. I'm so, so sorry. I don't know how that feels – I never had a father, so I can't imagine something happening like that. The closest thing that ever happened to me like that was – well, it was when I was a few hours old and my father never showed up to the hospital to see his son.

Are you still going on tour with us? That's a little insensitive of me, I know. But I haven't seen you in weeks Mitchie, and you're like, my best friend. More like my best girlfriend, because of course, Jason and Shane are my best friends. And Caitlyn doesn't count anymore, because she's my… girlfriend.

That's right, you can squeal and dance and scream, "Oh yeah! I'm right! Boo-yah! What now?!" and do all your celebration-girly-stuff. And I know you're totally doing all that right now. I just know you that well, Mitchie.

Call me tonight, alright? We can talk about anything you like – me and Caitlyn, the divorce, the tour – your choice. Really. Pinky swear.

Your Best Guy Friend,  
(Shane doesn't count, and I know you think I'm cooler than Jason ;)  
Nate

—**0— **

8 – 30 – 09

Hey!

Thanks so much for writing, Natie. I really need you right now. Shane still calls every night, but lately our calls have been getting shorter because he says he's got a lot of extra work to do. And Caitlyn only calls like, once a week, and even then we talk for like, five minutes, before she makes an excuse about homework or family board game night or something. And whenever I try calling Jason, all he talks about is birds! And Tess. Which is just plain icky.

Something's up with those two. Not Jason, he's just… like that. But I don't believe Shane and Caitlyn. Maybe they're planning something! It _is_ my birthday in a week – maybe they're planning a party! That would be so cool! I haven't had a party in years! My parents don't like it because it costs too much, especially now that they're… not together.

It's really hard with them, Nate. Sometimes my dad comes over trying to talk to my mother about it but they always end up yelling. I've practically been living in my friend Sierra's house because I can't stand it when they fight. They scream these horrible things to each other and I'm left thinking, _how could these people have claimed to love each other for fifteen years?_

You know what's horrible? Their wedding was only five months before my birthday. That means they probably only got married because of _me. _That means it's my fault that they're so miserable now.

I'm so sorry for leaving all this on you. I'm just so – so – so angry! So sad, so miserable… I hate it here! I hate how Shane and Caitlyn are hiding things from me, how I'm stuck in Wyckoff while you guys are following your dreams, how I'm so selfish and ugly and horrible and… I hate it!

Save me from this Nate. Please.

Love,  
Your miserable friend,  
Mitchie

—**0— **

9 – 3 – 09

Mitch –

I didn't know you were so angry. Hope you're not mad at me too.

The divorce thing will blow over soon. Your parents will work it out. I don't mean they'll for sure get back together – that probably almost never ever happens – but they'll settle down and maybe even tolerate each other soon. No matter what, you'll still have two parents. Everyone does. But not everyone has them both _with them._

Sorry letter's so short. Busy. Heard about Shane. He's an asshole for breaking up with you. He's been spending the last two days just holed up in his room. I haven't seen Caity in days. And Jason's – well, Jason's Jason.

Love,  
Nate

—**0— **

9 – 10 – 09

Nate,

I can't believe those two.

Caitlyn and Shane.

I loved him! I loved her! She was my best friend! He was my boyfriend! We had plans, Nate! We were in love! I trusted her, and she lied to me, straight to my face! I can't believe she could just do that!

You know what they did? Shane called me three days ago and this is what he told me: "I don't love you anymore. I made love to Caitlyn and I think I love her. I'm sorry." And then he hung up. Do you know what three days ago is? My birthday. September 6. He broke up with me on my birthday. He told me he made love to my best friend on my birthday. He broke my heart on my birthday.

I'm sobbing so much right now Nate. They're horrible! They broke my heart – both of them! We're in this together, Nate. They betrayed both of us. Now they're probably off getting eloped or something. I hate this! The divorce – my dog dying – my mom losing her job – my brother flunking his first term of college – and now this! Maybe life hates me.

I feel so horrible Nate. I hate this. What did I do to deserve this?

– Mitchie

—**0— **

9 – 17 – 09

Nate –

Why don't you write anymore? I miss you. It's been a week since I sent my last letter. Don't forget about me, Nate. Please. How's the tour going? I've been sending my letters to the addresses Jason texts me. Am I sending them too late? Jason sent me the address to the hotel you'll be going to in a week. I'll send this there and maybe you'll get it in time.

-- Mitchie

—**0— **

9 – 25 – 09

Nate

I know you got my last letter. Jason told me.

Mitchie

—**0— **

9 – 30 – 09

Nate –

If you don't respond, this is the last letter I'll ever send you. I know you got my last few letters, because Jason told me he's been reading them but you never try to write back.

I just wanted to tell you thanks.

For abandoning me. For leaving me to deal with my personal hell. For just plain leaving, like everyone except Jason's ever done. I feel bad for everything we've said about him, because now, I know he's more of a man than you or Shane will ever be. And more than anything Caitlyn will ever be.

-- Mitchie

—**0— **

10 – 4 – 09

Mitch,

I'm sorry. I called you last night. You never answered.

Please don't hate me. I've been trying to write but I don't know how to. I haven't spoken to Shane for the entire tour – the most we've ever done together is during interviews when we act so fake and onstage when everything's too much of a rush to realize reality. And I haven't even seen Caitlyn. I don't think I want to see her. I never really liked her anyway.

I'm sorry. Please, please forgive me.

Nate

—**0— **

10 – 10 – 09

Mitchie!

Come on!

Write back!

I'm sorry!

Call me!

Anything!

Nate!

—**0— **

10 – 17 – 09

Nate,

My parents are officially divorced now. My father has moved to Florida where his parents live. I doubt I will ever see him again. He tells me he will fly me there for Christmas and my birthday every year. He also told me when I was little that I was a beautiful girl who had the brightest future and would end up more wonderful than anyone else he knew. Lies.

Shane hasn't called me since August. Since before we even found out about him and Caitlyn. My birthday passed. I have been officially sixteen for about forty-two days now. It has also been forty-two days since my heart was broken. It has been forty-two days since I have been truly happy.

Caitlyn… I don't even want to think about her.

And so, since I didn't think life could get any worse, I'll write to you Nate.

Because I really don't think I have anyone else to turn to. I'm thinking about suicide, Nate. Is that so wrong?

Your Most Messed Up Person-You-Know,  
(Because I don't even know if we're friends anymore)  
Mitchie

—**0— **

10 – 23 – 09

Mitch –

The truth is, I don't know how to deal anymore.

Nobody wants me.

Nobody needs me.

Everybody thinks I'm a big snobby jerk.

And everyone just loves _Shaitlyn. _That's what they call them now. Isn't that just cutely _disgusting?_

Right now, I wouldn't think suicide would be a bad idea for me.

You, however… the world needs more people like you. You're beautiful, you've got a great voice, you're hilarious, you're understanding, sensitive, wonderful… I don't know what I did to deserve to know someone like you. There's something I want to tell you, but I must wait until we see each other in person because this isn't the kind of thing I can tell you in a letter.

-- Nate

—**0— **

11 – 1 – 09

I think I'm beyond the point where I can be saved now Nate. I know you've been calling every night and you've been trying to get me help and I've even been trying to see that wonderful shrink you paid so much money for but it's just too late for a person like me.

I'm too screwed up.

I'm sorry. You can't do anything to save me now. But you tried. And that's what matters.

Did you know it's All Souls Day today? I think that's an interesting time to lose myself.

By The Time You Get This I'll Be Gone,  
Mitchie

—**0— **

8 – 2 – 10

It's August 2nd again. And I've been visiting your grave every day for the past year but for some reason this day seems a little bit special.

You want to know why?

Because this is the first day I realized I was in love with you.

I loved you from the start, did you know that? That's why I was so reluctant to date Caitlyn. You were always more beautiful to me. Caitlyn's got that whole bouncy, strong, feisty girl think going on, but I always loved the shy ones.

Writing letters is our thing, don't you think? That's why I rarely ever talk to you. I'm always writing a letter. I have a feeling that you read them, Mitch, in your own special way. Because you're the most special person I know.

Remember the letter I wrote to you before you sent me that suicide note? How I told you I was going to say something important, something that I couldn't say in a letter? I found out now you can say it any way and it'll be just as important.

You want to know what I was going to say? I was going to say

**I LOVE YOU MITCHIE.**

Thought you'd like to know. :]

Love,  
Nate


End file.
